Monday, October 26, 2020
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The Brown Noser

Trash Can Under Nail Clippers Serves Mostly Symbolic Purpose

Published Friday, September 25th, 2020

According to reports, the trash can that area man Reggie Tweed positioned to catch his nail clippings serves a mostly symbolic purpose. “It just makes me feel like a good person, y’know?” said Tweed, using a small barrel to symbolize what it might be like to actually catch clippings of his fingernails. “Sure, I can hear them hitting my wall and landing on the floor, but I need the delusion. It helps me sleep at night.” At press time, Tweed chewed gum to pay homage to the act of flossing.

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