According to reports, the trash can that area man Reggie Tweed positioned to catch his nail clippings serves a mostly symbolic purpose. “It just makes me feel like a good person, y’know?” said Tweed, using a small barrel to symbolize what it might be like to actually catch clippings of his fingernails. “Sure, I can hear them hitting my wall and landing on the floor, but I need the delusion. It helps me sleep at night.” At press time, Tweed chewed gum to pay homage to the act of flossing.

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