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This past Tuesday, the White House officially inaugurated its newest committee, the Uniformity, Inequity, and Exclusion (UIE) taskforce.
“Once we found out what DEI stood for, we knew we needed to take action,” said Vice President JD Vance, a longtime advocate for homogeneity. “It’s time we got rid of the equitability that’s been dividing our nation.”
“The American People are TIRED of the UNFAIR diversity, equity, and inclusion that the WOKE LEFT has tried to force on us! No more!” said President Trump via a post on Truth Social. “Bring back the Exclusion that AMERICA was founded on!”
“This is how the founding fathers would have wanted it,” added Vance, who had worked tirelessly as a senator in Ohio to preserve the 18th-century values. “The scourge of justice will no longer be a terror on our nation.”
At press time, Satan announced that he was closing the border to Hell.
