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The Brown Noser

Tucker Carlson Seen Standing Outside Rupert Murdoch’s Window Holding Boombox

Published Friday, May 12th, 2023

Reports say Tucker Carlson was seen late last night standing on Rupert Murdoch’s front lawn holding up a boombox playing “Apologize” by OneRepublic.

“Yeah I saw him, he was wearing a letterman jacket with a big F on the front,” reported Murdoch’s neighbor Lizzy McCormick. “First he stood on the lawn for a little while throwing pebbles at his window, and then when Rupert opened it he picked up the boombox. Seemed like Tucker really wanted Rupert to take him back. Not sure what he did, but it must’ve been bad.”

“After a few moments Rupert waved Tucker away, but he wouldn’t go,” continued McCormick. “So Rupert tied up his robe real tight and climbed out the window. Lept right into Tucker’s arms. They drove off in Tucker’s Chrysler Sebring with the top down. I didn’t think much of it. Young love y’know. Thought it was cute.”

At press time, Carlson and Murdoch were seen frenching under the bleachers at half time.

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