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Area parents John and Lilly Bates reported that turning on the inside light in the car at night would be the end of the family.
“Turn that light off immediately,” John commanded sternly, a grave look coming onto his face. “Never, ever turn that light on. That is not something we do. Do you want to end up in a 5-car pileup on the I-95? Didn’t think so. So turn off that goddamned light."
“Whatever you’re looking for, whatever you turned the light on for, it’s not worth it," Lilly added, looking visibly upset. “When the stakes are this high, when we’re talking about life and death, does your lost AirPod really matter? I don’t want to see your finger near that switch ever again.”
At press time, Lilly informed her children that crossing your eyes will make them stay like that forever.
