Partly Cloudy, 64°
Promising to start off the academic year strong, UCS announced it is committed to continuing its groundbreaking work of not really doing anything.
“This is an exciting time for UCS,” read a welcome back email shared with the entire student body and sent five weeks after the start of classes. “Our students deserve to be represented as best as it is humanly possible, and as such, we are so honored to continue our revolutionary work of just chilling and not really doing much.”
“All the leaders before us have set the bar extremely high,” continued the email, detailing examples of ways in which UCS had previously done nothing. “Even though it will be extremely difficult to get anywhere near that level, we are more than committed to not really lift a single finger.”
At press time, CCB announced that they would continue their trailblazing work of hosting maybe an ice cream event or two.
