Flinching on the examination table, sources report that it is up for debate whether area doctor Linda Johnson’s hand is wet, or just cold. “Don’t worry about it, your hands feel fine!” patient Kendra Bunch reassured her doctor, recoiling from Dr. Johnson’s fingers and trying to determine whether they were damp from a recent hand-washing session or simply freezing to the touch. “Ooh, are you sure you have to check my lymph nodes today? Totally fine, no problem at all.” At press time, it was unclear whether a hospital gown was totally exposing your naked body or just really thin fabric.

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