Nodding their heads in appreciation and snapping when they hear something they like, sources report that student-run coffee shop The Underground is accepting spoken word about your mother as currency.
“Your oat latte is either $6.75 or a two-to-five minute performance detailing how your mother used to tenderly braid your hair, but stopped when you turned thirteen,” said barista Greer Buckles, preparing a microphone for the impromptu
poetry slam. “I’ll throw in a donut if you can work in a stanza or two on how she permanently damaged your body image.”
“I’m going to need you to evoke how fraught the mother-daughter relationship is,” added Buckles, dimming the lights to get the creative juices flowing. “Let’s start with: why did she love your older sister so much more than you?”
At press time, the Underground was piloting a contactless payment method for customers to purchase coffee by badly playing Phoebe Bridgers songs on acous- tic guitar.

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