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The Brown Noser

University To Replace S/NC Option With Simple “Good Noodle” and “Bad Noodle” Categories

Published Friday, December 1st, 2017

In an attempt to further simplify the grading system for its Ivy League students, the administration recently announced plans to replace the Satisfactory/No Credit option with a dual-category system of “good noodle” and “bad noodle.”

“At Brown we focus on cultivating an environment of personal growth through open-minded education,” stated Jerry McLean, the head of the Office of the Registrar. “The bottom line is that the S/NC system belonged to a different time, when grading students based on their performance actually mattered.”

The new system will operate in the exact same way as the old one, albeit the “Satisfactory with Distinction” specification will be supplanted by a prestigious “Really Really Good Noodle” classification. The new policy has been lauded by the majority of the Brown community.

“Look, everyone knows the difference between a good noodle and a bad noodle,” explained an excited Layla Rodriguez, the Associate Dean of the College. “It goes without saying that students will be more motivated than ever to give their best effort in pass/fail classes.”

At press time, the university was considering giving out tiny gold stars instead of actual letter grades.

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