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The Brown Noser

Vatican Approves Short Sleeve Graphic-Cassocks For Casual Masses

Published Friday, September 15th, 2017

In a historic departure from Church tradition, the Vatican has officially allowed Roman Catholic priests to wear short-sleeve graphic-cassocks during casual masses.

“My @Nike #dryfit cassock keeps me absurdly cool on hot days in the basilica,“ Pope Francis wrote yesterday in a tweet that included a picture of him celebrating mass in a sleeveless dry-fit with the red outline of a crucifix above the text “just do it.”

Following the announcement, cassocks with text such as “Eu-cha-rist: the consumption of the body and blood of Christ” and photoshopped pictures of John Paul II and Mother Theresa battling devils quickly sold out on internet marketplaces.

“Yea, we’re successors to the Apostles, but we’re also cool guys with a laid back style,” Pope Francis told reporters, wearing a white short sleeve cassock and a red baseball cap. “Now we can show that style off.”

The move concerned conservatives in the Church, who are still reeling from the Vatican’s decision to allow Power Point homilies last month.

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