Crowing at his recent accomplishments, Vice President of Campus Life Eric Estes was overjoyed to finally have his name at the bottom of important emails.

“It’s just been so wonderful to see the Estes name get the recognition it deserves,” Estes exclaimed, dancing a little jig. “Zia and Locke always get the glamor emails, while poor Eric Estes has to do all the real work. And don’t even get me started on that attention hog Christina Paxson.”

Reading over his emails again, Estes gleefully recounted the many important announcements made in his name.

“‘We regret to inform you that we’ll have to delay in-person learning.’ Now that was a big deal,” Estes boasted, the pitch of his voice rising in excitement. “Ooh, and who doesn’t love an email with ‘It is important that you read this message in full’ in big bold letters at the beginning!”

At press time, Estes was calling his mother to tell her the good news.

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