According to reports from a nearby village, celebrations have begun for the arrival of a tall man. “We’d never seen anyone that tall,” said Mayor Mary Daboole. “He deserves the world, really. With a body like that, a parade is the least we could do. You don’t see height like that every day.” Daboole punctuated the celebration by handing him the keys to the village. “I wish I could give him my kidneys,” said Daboole. “He’s a goddamn hero. If it were up to me, I’d trade my mother for him. He could have every cent I earn for the next 20 years. I love him. Y’know, come to think of it, I never got his name.” At press time, the tall man was elected as the new mayor.

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