Partly Cloudy, 64°
Psst… Hey kid! You want to win an Amazon gift card? You ever… smoked weed before? Why don’t you try out this little survey?
Look, you didn’t hear this from me, but the Department of Cognitive, Linguistic, and Psychological Sciences is in need of participants for an upcoming study on the effects of marijuana use in adults ranging in age from 17-25. Go in the back door of Metcalf Research Laboratory next Tuesday at 3:35 PM and tell the security guard you’re here to see Mary Jane, and you’re in.
If we can find someone on this campus who’s smoked weed, we’re prepared to mail them a $50 Amazon gift card for completing our survey. We’ll put it in an unmarked envelope in your University mailbox. Please don’t spend it on anything flashy; they’ll catch on.
The survey itself will take 90-120 minutes to complete. Questions will include: “Have you really smoked weed before?” “What was it like?” and “Were you followed here by anyone?” Your honesty is appreciated.
Listen, kid, does this sound like the right fit for you? If anyone asks, I’m from the Geology Department, and this conversation never happened.
