Wednesday, November 21, 2018
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The Brown Noser

Weak, Little Baby Needs Special Seat To Ride In Car

Published Friday, September 14th, 2018

Rolling their eyes and sneering, sources close to two-year old Lily Dickenson report that the weak, little baby needs a special seat to ride in the car. Dickenson, who could not be reached for comment, apparently needs a big protective seat for her allegedly fragile and developing spinal cord and her flimsy, weak limbs. The little wuss also needed her mommy to put her into the seat and buckle it because she’s too much of a coward to put forth any effort into lifting herself up. At the end of the car ride the pitiful, feeble child appeared to expect to be rolled all over the place in a special rolling seat instead of walking around like a normal goddamn person.

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