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The Brown Noser

Wistful Charles Koch Admits He Always Wanted To Buy Out A Creative Writing Department

Published Friday, March 9th, 2018

Sighing and explaining that he loved reading and writing since childhood, a wistful Charles Koch admitted yesterday that he has always wanted to buy out a creative writing department at a university.

“I’ve only ever focused on shaping the staff and ideology of economics, political science, and business departments,” said the sentimental Charles Koch, “but I’ve always loved reading and writing, and it would’ve been fun to explore putting a few million into some school’s creative writing department when I was a little younger.”

Koch explained that he loved reading fiction as a child, and used to dream about influencing his favorite author’s ideologies by contributing to their college’s writing department. He put that dream aside to pursue controlling departments that focus on policy and economics.

“They just seemed like more practical fields to buy out and control,” Koch said, explaining that no one urges a young millionaire to invest in controlling the creative youth.

“But hey,” he added, “it’s never too late to start doing something you love.”

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