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The Brown Noser

Worker Bee Actually Rugged Individualist

Published Saturday, February 18th, 2023

Sources report that unconventional worker bee Gregory Buzzer is a rugged individualist.

“I can’t stand all the ‘hive’ bullshit,” Buzzer said, perched next to his cabinet of canned food preserved for himself and himself alone. “Anyone who actually depends on these bureaucratic idiots for their bread and butter must be out of their mind.”

“No one ever became a CEO by sitting on their ass and following orders,” added Buzzer, brainstorming ways to evade his royal jelly taxes this year. “I can’t wait to get out of here and start living off the land, working for myself instead of a corrupt, honey-grubbing leader.”

“Guess what, geniuses? All those profits you’re making are going straight to the Queen. She doesn’t give a damn about any of us,” Buzzer explained, handing out extra copies of The Fountainhead to his colleagues. “I’ve got to look out for number one.”

At press time, Buzzer was explaining that the best way to respond to recent bear attacks was to allow for an open-carry hive.

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