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The Brown Noser

World Cup Final Inspires Thousands of Young, Physically Gifted Americans to Buy FIFA 19 for Xbox

Published Friday, April 20th, 2018

Sources report that the World Cup Final, which just concluded in Russia, has inspired thousands of young and physically gifted Americans to get out there and buy FIFA 19 for Xbox. According to the U.S. Soccer Federation (USSF), the excitement generated by this prestigious sporting event has motivated the nation’s most athletic youth to get off their couches and become more involved in the sport by purchasing the latest edition of the acclaimed video game.

Christian McKinnon, a 9 year old with untapped athletic potential, reports that he didn’t think soccer was for him until watching France’s thrilling 4-2 win over Croatia.

“I watched how good Antoine Griezmann was," said McKinnon, "And how all those years of hard-work, dedication, and practice were paying off. I wanted to be just like him. So I went to GameStop, bought FIFA 19, and played as his avatar.”

Carlos Cordeiro, president of the USSF, views this surge in sales as an indication that soccer is finally becoming popular amongst America’s most active and agile youth.

“Seeing such grand displays of athleticism has encouraged U.S. children to put themselves out there and embrace a new challenge, like playing against the CPU’s highest difficulty level in FIFA 19,” explained Cordeiro, refuting claims that the United States lacks a robust talent pool. And given how far graphic design has come since the last release, it’ll make kids feel like they’re actually playing the game.”

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