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The Brown Noser

World Has No Idea What Student Emerging From CIT Just Went Through, Student Reports

Published Friday, April 21st, 2017

Sources report that computer science concentrator Petra Shul ’19 believes no one can understand the horrors she just endured within the CIT.

Those in the vicinity of the Center for Information Technology reported that Shul, who threw open the building’s front doors and strode out with a black tote haphazardly slung around her shoulder, was acting like she had been through some serious shit. All eyewitnesses reported that the student, immediately upon leaving the building, accosted a group of passers-by, exclaiming “I have endured tribulation that you would never begin to fathom,” before jogging to another group and repeating the same phrase, only louder.

“Is anyone here a computer science comrade?” Shul continued. Sources report that after she was only answered with shrugs, Shul muttered “Ignorance is bliss,” under her breath.

Robert Smith, Shul’s roommate and political science concentrator, reported that, throughout the rest of the day, Shul continued to refer to how much she had cranked out at work, and how much she still had left to do. Smith told sources that his roommate explained her workload as "like when you have a lot of really big essays due, but way, way worse.”

At press time, Shul was walking back into the CIT.

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