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Recent analyses confirm that the authors of the Second Amendment in 1791 would have never been able to predict a 140 feet-per-second double stryke NERF gun.
“I am not certain of many things, but I am completely certain that James Madison, who was once arrested for driving a carriage on the Sabbath, would have never had the prescience to foresee and account for the implications of the newest lineup of Nerf© tri-barrel faceblaster tactical arms,” said historian Smith Jackson, watching as his son effortlessly blasted small rodents into oblivion with his own NERF gun. “The elastic clause has never been as applicable to modern policy as it was when NERF dropped their new Seal Team 6 Ball Blaster.”
At press time, historians confirmed that the founding father with six mistresses would have totally put abortion into the constitution if he knew that was an option.
