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The Brown Noser

Yeah The Hurricanes Suck But Think Of All The Extra Space The Fish Have To Play by U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service

Published Friday, November 1st, 2024

There’s been a lot of talk lately about these recent hurricanes: hundreds dead, thousands displaced, millions of dollars in damages. It seems like no matter how you look at it, there’s no upside to the utter destruction these disasters have brought. But the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service would like to offer a different view of the situation: The catastrophic flooding, torrential rains, and biblical winds offer the glorious fish of America some much-needed extra space to play.

These fishies are underserved and understimulated. They get tired of the same boring habitats, covered with the same boring sands and grasses. They long for the concrete. They yearn for topsoil. Who are we to deny them the opportunity to experience the glory of land—to play God with our dams, dykes, and levees? Here on the ground, they can find the splendor of the human world which has been previously denied to them. They can use their fins to hit rocks back and forth to each other or use their fish eyes to see our world as it was meant to be seen: wet.

Hurricanes are inevitable and mostly not so great. As Americans, we must offer equal opportunity to underserved species, and hurricanes offer us the ability to reach out to our fish brethren and let them have fun in the kingdom we built. To hoard that for ourselves is simply selfish. We must think of the beautiful fishes, who for the first time can feel what it feels like to stroll down the sidewalk or enter a home and have a look around. Finally, these magnificent creatures can have the space they deserve.

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