Neither your dog nor the person watching from the little cameras inside his eyes cares that you’re naked.

“I’m not particularly fond of the back tattoo, but overall, I couldn’t care less,” said your dog Poochie as he watched you strip down to get into the shower. “Don’t mind me. Ha! Or I guess I mean ‘us.’”

“Yeah honestly, I don’t care too much either,” said the man watching from the cameras inside Poochie’s eyes as he gestured to a screen projecting your naked body. “I mean, yeah, you’ve really let yourself go a bit, but you know that, right? I don’t have to, like, I mean, I’m sure you know that.”

“I will say, I love it when you dance naked around the house like nobody’s watching,” said the man watching you dance naked around the house like nobody’s watching. “Ope. Now you’re picking us up. Yes, I want kisses. Yes, I want kisses.”

At press time, your cat actually does care that you’re naked, so show some decorum and put some pants on.

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