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In a shocking turn, your parents were vindicated Wednesday at approximately 2:30 p.m., when you made the decision they have no doubt warned you about umpteen hundreds of times over the course of your lifetime and nevertheless knew you would proceed with. The people who fed you, clothed you, and provided you with a home since before you can even remember were, unfortunately, unable to save you from your own actions. The worst part, sources close to the couple confirm, was that they saw it coming.
With their combined lifetimes totaling over 100 years, you would think they know a thing or two about a thing or two. They do and did, one of said things being that they were right about you all along. Even so, your father and mother-—the adults who put your needs above their own for the better part of 18, 20 years and continue to give you their financial and emotional support-—were powerless to stop eventuality. You just did what you wanted to do, didn’t you? They were right. You were wrong.
When reached for comment, the woman who gave birth to you said that she hates to say “I told you so,” but that you’ve left her with no other choice.
