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Doctors at St Anne’s Hospital reported that Zimbabwean Wesley Bennet, who claims he feels “like a million dollars,” is actually quite unwell.
“His family seems hopeful after hearing the news, but I really don’t think they’re accounting for inflation. A million dollars here might buy you a cup of coffee, if you’re lucky,” mused Dr Raza as he nervously watched them celebrate. “This man has next to no functioning internal organs.”
“A Zimbabwean Dollar was about 0.00000000038 US Dollars last I checked so he must really be feeling quite unwell,” evaluated Dr Raza, as Wesley watched in confused horror while his family called more relatives to deliver the good news. “Which would make sense. I don’t know what’s doing a worse job, the central bank or this man’s kidneys.”
At press time, the Zimbabwean remake of Million Dollar Baby told quite an underwhelming story.
