The Avon Cinema on Thayer Street premieres a movie this Friday that has reached new heights of Indie vogue-so much so that when contacted for comment, the crew and director purportedly involved in its production have never heard of it.

"Seriously, who names a movie 'Noise-Canceling Grass Shadow Revolution?'" asked director Austin Pinkerton. "Huh? What do you mean, 'You did?'"

The staff at the Avon Cinema told The Noser-while requesting anonymity for fear of job security-that this is not the first time this has happened.

"Cate Blanchett actually showed up once," said employee Elizabeth Strunk. "She was effing pissed, saying that we were advertising her name on a movie she said she wasn't in. But then we screened it for her, she couldn't deny that, to her surprise, she had the lead role and a sex-scene-slash-singing-duet with Zach
Braff."

After much convincing on the part of Avon staff and tireless research from Noser reporters, Pinkerton still refused to believe that he was involved with "Noise-Canceling Grass Shadow Revolution."

"Look, I don't care if my name is on the screenplay," he said. "Or that I make a cameo as a taciturn postal service employee who really enjoys listening to Radiohead. This movie is so. Indie. It's just not me."

Pinkerton also denied involvement in three of the Avon's former features: "Fish Fries," "Staple Meister," which included a cameo by that guy from Office Space who played Milton, and a 1998 big-screen adaptation of the limerick, "There Once Was a Man from Nantucket," starring Marlon Brando in the title role.

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