The Associated Press reports that an unexpected meeting between Seamus Fernandez '09 and Alexandra Korstein '10 at the last piece of pumpkin pie has led to a one-night stand.
Completely unnoticed by the rest of the diners, the two touched hands as they both reached for the scrumptious piece of pie at the dessert table.
"We sort of bumped into each other and then looked down, I think. I'm not too sure. It all happened so fast," said Fernandez. "I offered her the pie right away, you know, because, it's, like, the nice thing to do, right? Yeah, so, uh, that was it, I guess. I don't know. "
Korstein confirmed Fernandez's account of the confrontation. "Yeah, I think he was trying to come off as generous or something when he tried to give me the pie, but to tell you the truth I didn't really care."
"There's really no other way to say it," continued Korstein. "It was awkward. Not just awkward, I mean, like, legendary awkward. You ever see one of those documentaries where birds do their mating dances by fanning out whatever plumage they have? It was exactly like that, except instead of colorful feathers, he dropped a slice of perfectly pleasant pumpkin pie on the floor."
Later, the two were reunited in the lobby of Emery-Woolley Hall, an event which Fernandez called "an alignment of the planets, or something, I swear."
"As soon as we took the elevator together, I knew something was going to happen," said Fernandez as he scratched his head. "The elevator was totally quiet, though. I'm talking complete, utter silence. But I was smooth. I was supercool. Cooler than Billy D. Williams."
When asked about the elevator, Korstein rolled her eyes before saying, "He asked me what floor I lived on in a voice that could scare children and old people alike. You ever see ,i>Spinal Tap</i>? He turned his voice up to eleven, if you know what I mean."
Both declined to comment on the period between exiting the elevator and meeting again in the V-Dub later the next day for lunch.
"Imagine the way a praying mantis guy feels when his mate rips his head clean off," said Korstein of the next day. "I didn't feel like that, but it was still pretty awkward. I don't know. I just think it's unnecessary for the mantis to do that."