Andrew's articles
Last week, in the latest addition to the Plan for Academic Enrichment, Brown University unveiled its plans for a $26 million project called the Walk of Shame, which will connect various residence halls and the bathroom at Viva on Saturday and Sunday mornings.
Last Tuesday, a heavy tanker carrying nearly 40,000 tons of unrefined testosterone spilled its contents in front of Wayland Arch while on its way to Helsinki. The long, cylindrical tanker struck the Sarah Doyle Women's Center at nearly 30 MPH, but failed to penetrate the building's outer wall.
Though weeks have passed since the beginning of the school year, Bangladeshi student Jacques Karim '11 has had trouble fitting into the Brown community. Karim cited his absence from the Third World Transition Program as the reason for his difficulties.
All Dawgs Go to Heaven, the latest collaborative album from Tupac Shakur and Warren Alpert, falls short of its lofty expectations but is still an overall solid effort. The album also features prominent divine artists such as Jesus Christ, The Notorious G.O.D., and LL Cool J, who is not yet dead, but has already obviously earned his ticket into Heaven.
Located at the corner of Bowen and Brown Streets, East Andrews Room 152 is being hailed by art buffs and intoxicated Brown students as the "Met of the Northeast, except that one in New York and the RISD one, only I think the RISD one is just a dining hall and not a museum, anyway."
Johnny Rockets, the 50s-themed international burger chain, announced record losses in the first quarter of 2007, citing free jukebox nickels as the cause. The restaurants hand out nickels to patrons so that they can play their favorite hits from the 50s and 60s.
This year, I thought I would finally be a good, God-fearing Christian and observe Lent for the first time in my 20-year life. But let me tell you, giving up my Xanax, Valium, Zoloft, and Pepto-Bismol was a horrible idea.
In response to Harvard University's elimination of the Early Admission program, the Brown University Admissions Office announced yesterday plans for a new admission system based on the popular Milton Bradley board game, Hungry Hungry Hippos. Brown's Early Decision program has also been scrapped in favor of the game.
<b>This article has a BNTV video!</b><br>
A Brown University student playing Nintendo's latest game system, the Wii, has reportedly destroyed his television and earth. The epicenter of the strike was pinpointed at Woolley Hall 409, where Juan Kim '10 was last seen playing <i>Wii Tennis</i>.
Homeless shelters across the city struggled to house hundreds of displaced hobbits this winter after artist Patrick Dougherty's installation behind University Hall was taken down.
Many hobbit families had moved into the sculpture which incorporated both man-made and natural features of the green.
The Associated Press reports that an unexpected meeting between Seamus Fernandez '09 and Alexandra Korstein '10 at the last piece of pumpkin pie has led to a one-night stand.
The usually peaceful scene in downtown Providence took a tragic, unexpected turn last Saturday around midnight when mountains of trash and chemicals ignited during a routine performance of WaterFire, a fire sculpture presented on a stretch of the Providence River over half a mile
long.
History Department Chair Professor James McClain announced yesterday, in accordance with the plans for "the Walk," that Peter Green House-the current home of his department-would be relocated to a new position. He added excitedly that History would be sure to follow.
"A live studio audience gathered today at Pizzitola Gymnasium for the highly anticipated unveiling of the whereabouts of OMAC's latest treasure.
This new artifact, identified to be the Ruby-Encrusted Boom-Boom Stick of Guy Fawkes, is the first relic to be discovered in OMAC's hidden temple in over 11 years."
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