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Blue State Coffee announced plans this week to open an abortion clinic in an adjacent space underneath the New Pembroke Dorms.
According to Co-Founder Marshall Ruben, the store "just wasn't blue enough. After this, I don't think anybody is going to doubt how liberal we are. We're hoping this move will make Blue State the definitive place to be if you're a liberal… and want either coffee or an abortion."
Indeed, the decision has quickly boosted Blue State to no. 1 in Providence among dual-purveyors of food services and medical procedures. The top position was previously held by Crammogram, the all-you-can-eat breast scan bistro.
In an effort to compete, other prominent Thayer Street coffee houses have taken some hard turns left.
Starbucks reportedly purchased the space previously owned by Allegra Print Center, and plans to open Providence's first-ever gay marriage chapel.
Even more surprising was the decision by Tealuxe to open a school in their kitchen for militant Islamic radicals. Since the announcement of this move, Sean Quigley has been reportedly standing outside the teahouse holding a sign that reads, "Told ya so."
Despite the competition, Blue State has managed thus far to stand alone as the most liberal distributor of hot beverages on Thayer Street.
"And with a selection like theirs, it's not surprising," says Kyle Matthews '09, Italian Studies concentrator and coffee enthusiast.
Featured on Blue State's revamped menu is a much-expanded pastry collection and a variety of new drinks including the very popular First-Chaimester Latte.
"We call it our pro-choice menu because we feel that every person has the right to choose what kind of coffee they want to drink, or even to drink something other than coffee entirely," said Ruben.
"If you've never had a cappuccino made by a licensed OB/GYN, you've never had a cappuccino," added Drew Ruben, Marshall Ruben's son and Co-Founder of Blue State.
However, the transition has not been completely without incident. Blue State regular Julie Collins recalled an unfortunate mix up that cost her more than her morning caffeine fix.
"When I missed my period, I knew the only place I would feel comfortable having the operation was Blue State. The problem is, with all of the edgy, liberal names they have for their new drinks, the barista totally missed the point of my order. I came in to have an abortion but all I got was a triple-venti-chai-mocha-frappuccino; a delicious triple-venti-chai-mocha-frappuccino mind you, but it didn't do squat about the rapidly dividing cells in my uterus."
Nonetheless, even the most tenacious of Blue State opponents can't help but feel charmed by their delicious coffee and friendly service.
"I'm totally against the whole abortion thing," says Emily MacDonald '11, member of Brown Students for Life. "But you just can't argue with great coffee. Godless heathens or not, I wouldn't spend my mornings anywhere else."
"We had a few pro-lifers demonstrating on the street earlier this week, but we handled the situation pretty well in my opinion," recalled barista Evan Salzman. "They looked like they were freezing out there so we just approached them with a few trays of hot chocolate and asked if anyone was thirsty. I'm sure they're very firm in their beliefs and all, but it couldn't have been above 40° out there. You show me somebody who can turn down hot cocoa in mid-November and I'll show you someone who hates America."
