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The Brown Noser

Brown Seeks Acceptance from Community Regardless of Orientation

Published Friday, April 27th, 2007

The University publicly announced last week that the institution has been seriously questioning its orientation and hopes that the local community will be supportive of any decision.

"We're not quite sure how we're feeling," said University spokesman Lloyd Sanderson. "All I know is that it might be time for a change. We just haven't really worked out the details yet."

Some have long harbored skepticism about Brown's current orientation due to the school's extremely liberal nature and its tendency to attract homosexual students.

"We feel that our orientation is not currently flexible enough to accommodate the changing needs and desires of new students," Sanderson added. "It just needs to be reworked."

Some see parallels to other initiatives, such as the opening of the modern and stylish Friedman Study Center. Dave Williams '07 shared his belief that "all those fancy chairs and couches" could only be explained as the University's indulging its keen fashion sense.

Brown maintains that it is not in a state of denial, but simply a little confused. An outpouring of support has come from other universities who have already rethought their orientations, including Vassar and Yale, in the form of notes of encouragement handwritten on customized stationary and gift certificates to
Express.

"We hope Brown will be okay," commented Yale. "We just want them to know that our orientation has been both liberal and flexible for 125 years, and we're still going strong."

Mount Holyoke told the press that when it underwent the strenuous process of publicly announcing its orientation, it was overwhelmed with the warm response it received from the community. It has been pointed out, however, that in terms of acceptance of different orientations, Providence is a far cry from Massachusetts. The tough-guy, working class sensibilities of the area surrounding Brown might not mesh so well with the fun-loving, creative orientation Brown is going for.

According to Sanderson, the changes will be implemented this August, in time for the Class of 2011's Freshman Orientation.

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