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Stuart made a valiant effort to remain comprehensible, considering he is neither an Eastender nor a linguistics student. Still, he eventually lapsed into Australian rhyming slang before losing touch with any known English dialect whatsoever, adding further ambiguity.
On April 5, the Bruin Club ousted British tour guide Percival Stuart '09 for conducting a campus tour almost completely in Cockney rhyming slang.
The tour guides had "Barney Rubble" distinguishing between the rhyming and the frankly stupid monikers that Brown students give to familiar campus landmarks and buildings.
"I didn't really understand what he was talking about half the time. Something about a 'dirty shooter in a rock,' and 'ratty John Skinner,'" noted one witness.
"My favorite part of the tour was when he said my 'Davina McCalls' would shrivel up if I walked through the 'Can of Spam' Wickle Gates before graduating," remarked the 12-year-old sibling of a touring high school senior. "It's funny because it's about testes!"
"I was freezing off my Black and Decker outside of Ginger Maris and Melancholy when I mentioned how a lot of bottles and glasses for gingerbeers had garnered up a Dame Judy Dench. Apparently that was taken as an insult," remarked Stuart.
On his expulsion from the Bruin Club, "I feel that the ski conditions Betty Davis overreacted in this Safety Dance. Ultimately, it was a harmless Hillary Swank. And besides, it's impossible to damage this Princess Toadstool's Grand Central any more than it has been. Bunch of self-righteous merchant bankers! Bah weep granah weep ninni bong, yes?"
