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Pointing to the recent April Fool's Day issue of the Brown Daily Herald in which the daily published fake, 'comedic' articles in place of their usual fare, Brown police have lifted the ban on public urination within a 1 foot radius of the distribution stacks of the campus publication.
"There's a reason that comedy newspaper got founded in the first place," said Sergeant Bryan Russell. "Those Herald guys just aren't very funny."
"Piss away, fellas!" he added.
So far, Facilities claims it has received no complaints concerning the growing puddles or odor at the Ratty, V-dub, and Mailroom. However, according to janitor Scott Kaufman, there are plans to install urinal cakes at the stacks starting next week.
"It's really made life a lot easier," said student Tim Keefe '11. "Sometimes it's a big hassle to have to go to a separate room just to take a leak."
According to Ross Stackhouse, co-editor of The Brown Noser and resident expert on funny newspapers, the BDH first went wrong with the attitude they had in approaching the issue.
"The key to writing a good article is to treat whatever ridiculous idea you've come up with as seriously as possible. You should write it like it's any other piece of real, worthwhile, competent journalism," said Stackhouse. "I'm afraid that's just not something the BDH staff is very good at."
When asked about a potential response to alleged plagiarism in the BDH issue, Adam Wagner, the other co-editor of The Brown Noser, responded, "Yea, they totally stole a penis joke about the Sci Li from an old front page story we ran, but we already peed on a couple of their writers while they were passed out and DPS said it'd be cool if we ran the pictures in our next issue. I think that's punishment enough."
The BDH has also experienced backlash in other forms as a result of the April Fools issue.
"We haven't been doing too well with the ladies recently," remarked Herald columnist Johnathon Shryder. "Girls generally want guys with a good sense of humor."
