Thursday, March 28, 2024
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The Brown Noser

A.J. Fitzgerald

Writer (Retired)

A.J.'s articles

Housing Lottery First Pick Winners Choose LeBron James | Apr 23 2010

With the first pick in the 2010 housing lottery, Outsourced has selected LeBron James 23 as their place of residence next year. Citing his size, athleticism, well-rounded skill set and ability to get teammates involved, group members claim the decision was an easy one.

I Ask As a Non-Threatening Platonic Friend: Can We Have Sex Real Quick? | Oct 23 2009

Hey, so you wanna grab lunch tomorrow? I'm pretty stoked for chicken fingers too! Are you and all the girls getting together later for drinks? Of course I'd like to come! And are we still on for that study date? I'm so not ready for that Orgo test next week either.

DPS Lifts Ban on Daily Herald-Targeted Urination Following April Fools Issue | Apr 24 2009

Pointing to the recent April Fool's Day issue of the Brown Daily Herald in which the daily published fake, 'comedic' articles in place of their usual fare, Brown police have lifted the ban on public urination within a 1 foot radius of the distribution stacks of the campus publication.

Male Student Taking Women's Studies Course to Meet Girls Overlooked Possibility of Lesbianism | Oct 24 2008

KINGSTON, RI - University of Rhode Island student Pat Kaufman was faced with a startling realization Monday when it came to light that a disproportionate percentage of the students in his Women's Studies course were gay. "Yea, so, there aren't many chicks in my engineering classes and I figured I'd take Women's Studies to kind of get a feel for the playing field, so to speak," Kaufman said.