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The Brown Noser

Dungeons and Dragons Club Actually Front for High Stakes Mafia-Run Dungeons and Dragons Club

Published Monday, February 25th, 2008

When Derrick Farnsworth '09 led a campaign against Joseph Marshall '08 in order to slay the latter's Dragonbeast, it seemed to be just for fun and bragging rights. It appeared as entertainment for a few lonesome, socially awkward college students, whose only passion was board game sensation Dungeons and Dragons.

The reality, however, was more serious. In the room behind the Brown Category II club's game was a high stakes version being run by the local mafia.

"We discovered after a few months' investigation that the said Brown University D&D Club was the front for a multi-million dollar game led by Providence's most notorious mafia family, the Ciancis," described Detective John Forrester of the Providence Police Department. "After receiving a search warrant, we discovered our theory to be true. The members of both games have been taken into custody."

Though at first detectives struggled to figure out why the two groups became involved, the reason for this union between mafia and gamers was a simple case of supply and demand.

"They needed a place to launder their money and we needed money to pay for our Citadel Miniature Sets," admitted Erico Lorenz '09 to investigators. "I met one of them at Via Via and we got to talking."

The University had recently given the club their own suite in the basement of Faunce House. The extra space in back had been given to the mafia in exchange for an undisclosed amount.

When asked to comment, the mafia refused.

"My clients have no comment at this time," said mob lawyer Jacob Rosenthal. "They only wish to say that whoever shed light on this game will be finding themselves in the Temple of the Frog soon enough."

In a press release Friday, DPS Chief Mark Porter called the scandal "the most important uncovering in organized crime since the FBI revealed Comedy Central's plot to put Carlos Mencia on the air."

Here on campus, this is not the first time that a University group has been involved with the mafia. In 1955, the Pembroke Women's League was discovered to be operating a brothel out of what is now the West Andrews media room.

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