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In its bi-weekly meeting yesterday afternoon, the Brown University Community Council approved a new multi-disciplinary concentration to be offered by the Environmental Studies Department in conjunction with God. The seven-day concentration culminates in a BA in Ecological Design, handed down from Heaven by the Environmental Studies faculty.
Kurt Teichert, manager of environmental stewardship at Brown, acknowledges that there has been a rising demand for this field of study in recent years. "Students recognize the destruction of our environment-of ecosystems, of living beings, and of the planet-wrought by our current way of thinking, and they want a change. They want to 'clear the slate' and begin designing things that are organic and entirely new, things that give back to the environment."
The Almighty has perceived a similar phenomenon, but shifts the blame for the status quo dearth to intelligent design. "I don't know what to tell you. I thought it would be hilarious to make something that thought of itself as 'sentient' and 'extraordinarily intelligent' without giving it the requisite cognitive capacity to be that way. I'm sorry about that."
Students appear to be genuinely excited about the new major. "Before this 7-Day Ecological Design concentration was announced, I was considering studying Psychoceramics, The Philosophy of Linguistics, or Am. Civ. You know, something practical. I'm so excited to study something worthless and irrelevant! That's exactly why I chose Brown!" exclaimed Elizabeth Dee '08.5.
The program will include courses such as ENVS0570: Creation of the Sun and BIOL0340: How to make a Woman out of a Man's Rib.
