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What has been deemed by a Prospect & Meeting spokesperson as the "most astoundingly successful match yet, by default, we guess," began innocently enough. Mitch Henderson '11 and Gloria Fields '11, best friends since freshmen year, listed each other as "romantic interests" on the website as a joke. "Well, Mitch put me down first," chuckled Fields. "Mitch, with his baby blue eyes and his strong arms that could hold you for days. Hah, what a clown!"
Finding the humor in it to be "so entertaining", they chose to have a mock date. "I have to admit, I wasn't at all surprised when Mitch and Gloria starting going out together," said mutual friend Rick Bennington '11. "I mean, everyone knew that they were totally into each other.jokingly, that is."
The dinner reportedly went "hilariously well", according to Henderson. So well, in fact, that he decided to continue the shenanigans by walking her home, ironically kissing her goodnight. "She was just standing there, under the soft light of the streetlamps, snowflakes in her hair, her eyes sparkling like that stars in the sky. God, she can be such a comedienne when she wants to be."
They laughed so hard at the mock date that Henderson and Fields decided to make it a regular occasion. "You know how inside jokes develop between good friends," said Fields. "It's like when me and my friend Cynthia yell 'Supplies!' whenever we see each other. It's just like that."
When their one-month anniversary arrived, amidst much wine and hysterics, the two friends mutually saw fit to "take the antics to the next level". "That's when it really started getting funny," commented Fields. Henderson confirmed, "Yeah, I boned her for comedy."
According to reports, after consummating the buffoonery, the humor progressed rapidly. "They kept uping the ante," said acquaintance Dave Bison '10. The two began to spend most of their time together, and subsequently acquired a whole new set of "mock-couple friends". Soon after, Henderson and Fields became husband and wife. "Many a laugh-inspired tear was shed," recounted Carol Henderson, Mitch's mother.
Their ironic life together continued like a "dream in jest", claimed the two. They bought a nice house in the suburbs with a white picket fence and a tire swing and, to really drive the punch line home, Fields-Henderson gave birth to two children.
The only road bump on their long journey of tomfoolerish romance occurred when Henderson strayed from their "joke of a marriage", having an affair with a female colleague from his office. However, according to the two friends, this only added to the hilarity of the situation. "When I heard the messages that bitch left on his voicemail, I could hardly believe it. What a lying, cheating sack of shit," Fields-Henderson laughed. After much deliberation, the two decided to stay together. "We both still believed in the comedy we started together," said Henderson.
Shortly before dying "fairly comically" of old age in each other's arms, Fields-Henderson commented on the public's mixed reaction to their long-running inside joke. "I'm not surprised they don't get it. You can't expect everyone to enjoy such sophisticated, high-brow humor."
