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The disappointment was anything but unnoticed this weekend at the Girls Gone Wild headquarters in Santa Monica, CA, as the company reported tremendous losses due to its aired special <i>Girls Gone Wild Parties It up at the CIT</i>. According to Joe Francis, creator of the Girls Gone Wild franchise and CEO of the production company Mantra Entertainment, less than 0.03 percent of the anticipated 20 million viewers actually ended up seeing the special.
Dissatisfaction was apparent on the Brown Campus as well, but for none was the blow as severe as for Computer Science Professor Andy van Dam, originator and father to the GGW-CIT brainchild.
"I was working late one night at the Center for Information Technology grading Tetris for CS15," van Dam recalls of the early stages of the conception, "when I was stricken with a vision. 'Holy mackerel, Andy,' I remember saying to myself, this place is a babe mine. Everywhere I looked," he continued, "girls were going wild."
And so was laid the foundation for what could perhaps become the craziest Girls Gone Wild project ever filmed. Several months later, after an intense exchange between the Computer Science Department and Mantra Entertainment, the green light was finally given, and a deal was signed to begin documenting these intense parties, which could only be described by one CS major as "010010!!!"
But the party was far from 010010 the night of January 17, as the GGW camera crew arrived on location. For some odd reason, the massive amounts of girls, music, and pure debauchery, which typically symbolize life at the CIT, were simply missing-in-action. Instead, in a peculiar turn of events, the labs were overflowing with what can only be described as nerds.
"It was weird," recalled Jay Russell, lead cameraman for the project, "I grew up listening to stories of the infamous CIT bashes, but all we could find were dudes, body odor, and TI-83s."
The camera crew finally left the set four hours later, after the only cleavage caught on tape was in the form of ass crack produced by one overly enthusiastic CS and Applied Math major in exchange for a beaded necklace and one PNY NVIDIA GeForce 7900 GS 256MB GDDR3 PCI Express Graphics Card.
Representatives from the CS department were unavailable for comment, but franchise CEO Joe Francis assured reporters that "the failure to find parties at the CIT, though unexpected and bizarre, will not deter the company from continuing to seek out the best and most wild parties in the world." Though Francis remained clandestine regarding future specials, he did advise his fans to keep their eyes open for the upcoming spring break special <i>Girls Gone Wild Goes to the Sarah Doyle Women's Center</i>.
