Friday, November 15, 2019
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The Brown Noser

iPhone Flashlight Mischievous Little Fuck

Published Friday, October 25th, 2019

Area woman Sally Beckman reports that the flashlight on her iPhone is being an unruly little fucker. “I’ll just be walking with my phone, and out of nowhere, it’ll just flick right on,” a frustrated Beckman lamented while motioning at the dastardly hobgoblin affixed to her iPhone 10. “I’ll be on a bus or in a theater, and then all of a sudden, there’s this blazing LED in my hand. It’s absolutely infuriating.” As of press time, the impish menace was sneakily casting its faint glow from an oblivious Beckman’s back pocket.

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