Partly Cloudy, 64°
After weeks of deliberation, the IRS has finally decided to audit Economics 71: Financial Accounting, rather than take it for full credit. The decision came at the eleventh hour after many long nights of deliberation over the holiday weekend. Instead of heading down to New Orleans for Mardi Gras with the SEC and Department of the Treasury, the IRS spent hours on the phone with Laura Bush trying to structure the coming semester.
"It was a hard decision," an IRS spokesman said yesterday at a press conference in Faunce. "It's a heavy and important semester for us. EC71 was going to be our fifth class, we already have a seminar, and we're just not sure if there is enough time with our extra-curricular activities."
Forms filed with the Office of the Registrar confirm both that the IRS is taking four other classes and that EC71 is registered as an audit. People working at the Registrar commented positively on the IRS's ability to fill out paperwork.
Bob and Frank remain skeptical over whether it will be worthwhile for the IRS to take EC 71 without the added pressures of examinations and deadlines. In an interview, Bob said that "the IRS has an incredible amount of potential to fulfill, a potential that could potentially not be reached if the IRS decides to pre-game for Fish Co. on Wednesday nights instead of attending class."
This is a legitimate concern. The IRS has only missed one Wednesday night Fish Co. since freshman year. Between skipping Wednesday evening classes and not taking the exams, it is doubtful that the IRS would learn very much. As a double major in Egyptology and Modern Culture and Media, the IRS has not branched out and taken very many economics classes-classes that will be key for its future in the government.
When reached for comment, the White House said that it would always be proud of the IRS no matter what decisions it made. It added that this was an important time in the IRS's life and that there were things other than academics that are very important to a college experience. President Bush adamantly agreed. He later added that it was a shame that this had prevented the IRS from going to Mardi Gras with its friends because he heard that they had a really great time.
According to the President, "The tittification that went on down there shows that Americans can stay perky in the face of natural disaster. I only regret that the IRS couldn't be tittified."
Brown students agree with the President on this last point as many of the IRS's classmates have found it uptight, prudish, and occasionally impersonal even in the face of its outwardly party-animal lifestyle and love of Fish Co. For the IRS, Fish Co. is just about getting drunk, not about having a good time.
