To most, Sebastian Doyle '14 is just an average freshman, with an average work ethic, an average number of alleged friends and a slightly above-average number of subscriptions to magazines dealing with high-caliber weaponry.
However, unbeknownst to those who have not spoken to Doyle for more than two minutes, he is a key member of the Safewalk program, the last line of defense between Brown students and the high-crime environs of College Hill.
Yesterday, Doyle spoke from his "command center," an unused closet on the third floor of West Andrews.
"It's not just about the fame, or the prestige, or the running faucet of pure poontang that I'm pretty sure goes along with the job," said Doyle, as he zipped on his suit of full-body armor in preparation for his next shift. "That's not why I'm here. I'm here for them."
Doyle's activism comes, for many, at a welcome time. Crime rates have soared in Providence, touching the lives of all students, many of whom vaguely recall having seen some sort of e-mail about it. This, according to Doyle, has left an opening for vigilantes to fill the role where the police have failed. And the "Enigmatic Enforcer," as Doyle tells people to call him, is making waves.
"Well, I think it's terrific that somebody is finally doing something about all the-," said Elliot Morgenthal '13, adding, "Who are we talking about again?"
Not everyone approves of the "Enigmatic Enforcer." Many of Doyle's acquaintances, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of retribution, pointed to the burden that his actions placed on them. They often cited Doyle's repeated requests to "cover [him]" as he sprinted, crouching, across various fields, or, as Doyle calls them, "rape palaces."
Doyle dismissed such concerns.
"Look," explained Doyle, "If people want, they can all run back to godforsaken Arkansas where everyone poops out chocolate and farts buttered scones, or whatever. But this is Providence. I don't tolerate punks in my city. And this here… this is my city."
"MY city," Doyle elaborated, punching a passing sophomore in the neck, whom he would later describe to exasperated Department of Public Safety officers as "sneaky looking."
"Do you think this is a game?" Doyle asked. "Do you think this is some sort of Candyland knockoff where we all sit around and eat cupcakes and make dream catchers, or something?"
Doyle went on to claim that it was not.
Other students pointed to the work yet to be done.
"I mean, this place isn't safe at all," said Kenneth Cockburn '14. "Just the other night, I was walking along with some girl and outta nowhere, this guy runs up and punches me in the neck, all yellin' "my city" and something about date rape."
"Really coulda used this guy then," mused Cockburn.