Partly Cloudy, 64°
It was an unusually cold night in the Friedman Study Center when Arnold Baker, a singularly lonely Brown freshman, began his friendship with the oft-ignored paperclip assistant from the word processing application Microsoft Word.
"It all started with a letter," recounted Baker of their first meeting "It was a thank you note for my grandmother, he immediately recognized what I was writing and wanted to know if he could help me format it." Stunned by this unsolicited generosity, Baker and the paperclip, named Clippy, spent the next 20 minutes composing a "first-rate" thank-you card, complete with proper margins and a decorative border. "You shoulda seen the WordArt we used!" recalls Baker, his eyes swimming with fondness.
Baker, a prospective econ concentrator, claims that he enjoys life at Brown, but admits that the social adjustment has been trying at times. "I know a few cool people," he asserts. "It just seems like nobody's really genuine, you know?"
Initially, Baker sought to make more social connections through participation in extracurricular activities, but within a few weeks he quickly became disillusioned, labeling the various clubs as "too time consuming" and "full of phonies."
Contrary to what one may think, Baker was not disheartened by the shortcomings of extracurriculars; rather, he now considers it to have been a serendipitous occurrence, "had I spent all my time interacting with real people in groups I never would have met the Paperclip-then where would I be?"
When questioned about the sudden nature of their friendship, Baker could only compare it to the hit romantic comedy My Best Friend's Wedding. "Of course I had noticed him before, but I never really thought of him as anything more than an assistant.I guess sometimes the best things really are right under your nose."
In recent weeks, the friendship has extended beyond the realm of the SciLi. Baker cited frequent "study parties" where the two work on papers together in his room. "We don't actually get much work done," Baker admitted. "Don't tell anyone, but usually we just wind up watching youtube!" Baker further stressed that the relationship goes beyond business, citing a "kickin'" Halloween party they had together, "you should have seen his Einstein costume! Although it wasn't as good as his little red ball one."
When asked what the nature of his relationship with Baker was, Clippy seemed confused: "Hmm, I don't know what you mean. Please rephrase your question." Subsequently asked how close he and Baker were, the paperclip replied only, "The Office Assistant cannot currently answer your questions. Run Setup again to make sure all the necessary Help files are correctly installed."
Baker brushed aside the seemingly cold responses with a laugh. "Clippy is a trademark jokester, always quick with a punchline," Baker said. "Why do you think he referred to your question as a 'setup'?"
Currently, their friendship shows no sign of slowing down. Most days one can spot them sitting together in the corner of the Ratty, Baker giggling as he repeatedly presses the 'animate' button. As for the future, Baker suspects the two will be friends for a long time, but right now wants to focus on the present. "I think we're gonna make an appearance at Phi Psi's party next week," he stated, "given I can purchase an external battery by then."
