Gregory's articles
For the past few weeks, students visiting the Bears Lair fitness center have been privy to what can only be described as a gender revolution. Aaron Simon '13, a confirmed member of the male sex, has repeatedly been using the elliptical exercise machine - a device traditionally reserved for anorexic girls and people who want to exercise without working hard while watching "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" on E!.
It was just past midnight last Saturday when Emma Page '11 noticed something was deeply wrong with the birthday party she was hosting. "I felt that something was off," Page recalled, "but I couldn't quite put my finger on it."
This is our big chance, and at the end of the day we're all here for one thing and one thing only: to make friends and have fun.
Hey you! Yeah you! Do you think just because I can't move means I can't hear what you're saying? Well guess again buddy. I'm sick and tired of sitting here while you ridicule and belittle me like I some cheap piece of garbage-Samsung mobile charging stations have feelings too! I guess you think it makes you feel big or something to put others down, especially when you haven't even tried to get to know them.
Last Monday, members of ENGL1041 bore witness to the unfolding of an ironic tragedy. Students report that over the course of one class period, they lost a total 15 minutes of class time as a result of easily solvable difficulties surrounding a DVD player.
The trouble began when Professor Arthur Remold, a published author with a Ph.
It was an unusually cold night in the Friedman Study Center when Arnold Baker, a singularly lonely Brown freshman, began his friendship with the oft-ignored paperclip assistant from the word processing application Microsoft Word.
"It all started with a letter," recounted Baker of their first meeting "It was a thank you note for my grandmother, he immediately recognized what I was writing and wanted to know if he could help me format it." Stunned by this unsolicited generosity, Baker and the paperclip, named Clippy, spent the next 20 minutes composing a "first-rate" thank-you card, complete with proper margins and a decorative border.
It was early October when Emily Thompson '12 first started to have doubts about the nature of her good friend Alan Marin's finest virtue. Thompson met Marin '12, an economics concentrator, during their freshman year in Keeney. The two were unacquainted until one night when Thompson, having just broken up with her high school boyfriend, stumbled upon Marin in the laundry room.
POINT: What's the Point of that Stupid Wingdings Font?
By Rodney Wilkins
For as long as I can remember I have enjoyed using Microsoft Word for all my word processing needs. I appreciate its simple interface, auto-formatting, and extensive editing options.
In the past few months I've heard a lot of people worrying about their future careers. Given the current state of the job market, I would be worrying too-that is if I hadn't already found the best job ever. Do you want a job that's not only fulfilling but lucrative too? Well, then try your hand at writing tennis related puns (trust me you'll "love" it!)
Unlike other jobs, this one is never boring.
Point: Grade Inflation Threatens Brown's Academic Integrity By Greg Berman It may come as a surprise to some, but Brown students are currently in a terrible crisis. I know it may not be pretty, but it's time we face the dire reality of our situation. Did you know that over 53% of grades received at Brown are A's? That means of only 47% of the grades aren't A's.
Point: These New Crocs are Totally Kickass!
By Chris Daniels
Hey, I couldn't help but notice you were looking at my feet. Don't worry you're not the only one. I'd probably be looking at my feet too if I were you, because, as you no doubt have already noticed, these Crocs are totally kickass!
I know they may look a bit odd at first, but take my word for it: nothing equals the comfort of Crocs.
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