"Get your floaties, Mike, we're going for a swim," said Republican presidential candidate John McCain, grabbing competitor Mike Huckabee by the ear last night in front of a Florida crowd.

The assault was provoked by Huckabee's comment, "It's just water," which he made in response to a question about the legality of the controversial interrogation technique. "I mean, the human body is composed of more than fifty percent of the stuff," continued Huckabee after a negative response from the audience.

Eager to join the fray, Republican candidate Ron Paul elaborated on his plans for a smaller government, saying, "When I'm president, both water and boards will be a thing of the past."

The debate's moderator, Wolf Blitzer, looked uncharacteristically confused as the helm slipped from his fingers. Asked later whether he was reacting to the ugly turn the conversation took, Blitzer answered, "No, I was more surprised by Ron Paul's comments. I had forgotten that he was on stage."

Political analysts spent the hours following the debate discussing whether or not Huckabee would accept the challenge, whether the invitation would be extended to the other candidates, and what Paul would look like in a wet t-shirt.

"McCain's jab at Huckabee is actually a two-pronged approach," commented one analyst. "He's both challenging Mike's manhood and attempting to prove that he's still young enough to enjoy a good waterboarding."

Asked what he would do if challenged to such an event, Former President Bill Clinton replied, "I'd shower in that shit."

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