Partly Cloudy, 64°
OMFG ROFL. I saw the funniest Facebook status today. But before I tell it to you I have to give you some background. I was sitting in my chemistry class listening to possibly the most dull and monotonous lecture in Brown's history. I was so bored I just opened up Facebook and started perusing the news feed. Everything was pretty mundane - Susie and Joe got back together, Marcus posted new pictures from study abroad, my roommate just found out that random guy she slept with two weeks ago from AE? got her pregnant, blah blah blah boring! But then suddenly, my page refreshed and I saw it: a status by Jim Mancini, this quiet CS concentrator who lived in my hall freshman year. The status read "The only thing interesting about this chemistry class is Professor Veinder's beard. It's a work of art." Hahaha it's so true. I'm not kidding - the man's beard looks like a forked snake tongue. That was such a funny Facebook status. I've been in such a good mood since I saw it.
Haha, I Like Your Funny Facebook Status!
by Samatha Carlyle
*****
Liking my Facebook status is code for wanting to fuck, right?
By Jim Mancini
Holy shit. Samantha Carlyle just 'liked' my Facebook status. Is this happening? Is this a
dream? Is someone using inception on me? No. This is really happening. Samantha Carlyle is so fucking hot. Every morning of freshman year I'd see her walking down the hallway in those tight Victoria's Secret sweatpants that say names of different colors for some reason on the butt area. Ohh the way she moved. I can't tell you how many nights I stayed up late on my laptop, admiring her 436 pictures on Facebook again and again. I would do anything just to have a roll in the hay with her (if you know what I mean). And she 'liked' my Facebook status? Liking my Facebook status means she is down to do the nasty, right? I mean, that is what that means, no? Why else would she like it? To be honest, I guess it makes sense. We have been talking a lot lately. And by talking I mean we've kind of just said hello to each other in passing. And by saying hello I mean we actually didn't speak and just awkwardly made eye contact. But I guess she's ready to take the leap. She did, after all, 'like' my Facebook status. How should I proceed? I'm on risky ground. On the one hand, I don't want it to seem like I'm trying too hard. On the other hand, come on. She wants to fuck.
