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35-year-old Providence resident Timothy "Tito" Berman was screwed once again by his "housing [and the] Lottery." Berman, an unemployed former gas station attendant currently seeking employment at the Rhode Island Schoolbus Depot, or RISD, found his already frustrating situation exacerbated when the ceiling in his "double," or "crappy two-person studio apartment," located in NP4, the fourth tower of the New Providence housing project, developed a leak in its ceiling. Berman has struggled to find a solution to his housing issue, as his building's Maintenance Project Coordinator, or MPC, is currently in a class at the TWC (Technical Workshop College) earning his electrician's certificate.
However, Berman's issues don't stop at his shoddy housing. According to Berman, he would never be living in a "shitty NP4 double" if not for his bad luck with his Lottery number. Explained Berman, "I went in with a group of ten people and bought a bunch of tickets in hopes of winning something decent. They told me if we had more people in the group, we'd be more likely to get average numbers and win a little bit each. But come drawing time, we ended up averaging out to a terrible number. I was counting on winning some cash to afford something better, but I guess I have to make do with what the Lottery gave me."
As a result of his increasing dejection, Berman has been spending more time at Perkin's Pool Hall, a dive bar around the corner from his decrepit abode. While Berman spends much of his time there, he has alienated his friends, who live several blocks away from Perkin's. Complained one friend, "Perkin's is far. I know that in reality it's only a couple blocks away, but something about that walk makes it feel like a light year."
Berman has also expressed frustration at President Simmons. Simmons, the president and CEO of the small employment agency that has failed for months to find Berman a job, has not answered Berman's several recent phone calls. Berman worries he may have to seek help from Unemployment Compensation Services - the dreaded UCS.
Still, all of Berman's problems are firmly rooted in his housing and Lottery situations. As Berman explained, "If it weren't for that damn housing/Lottery, I wouldn't be stuck in NP4, I wouldn't be seriously considering RISD, I wouldn't have a weak-ass MPC who spends all his time at the TWC, President Simmons wouldn't be rejecting me, I wouldn't be constantly getting drunk at Perkin's, and I certainly wouldn't ever involve myself in UCS."
Recently, reports have surfaced that Berman has taken to begging for change on the steps of the John Carter Brown Library, a rare books library at Brown University.
