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This month, Cisco Systems sued Apple over a trademark infringement, claiming that they own the rights to the name "iPhone." Wanting in on the action, the artist known as Sisqó (born Mark Alvathan Andrews) has been routinely appearing at the court hearings, attempting to defend his claim to "iPhone" as the trademarked title of the 9th song on his first album Unleash the Dragon.
Experts are currently researching as to whether or not this is a valid claim, but as of yet, nobody has been able to find a copy of the album, which fell into oblivion after the summer of 1999 during which we all listened to "The Thong Song" (track 8) roughly eighty thousand times.
The issue is further complicated by the fact that the general public typically put their CD players on loop once they got to "The Thong Song" and, therefore, never heard any of the album beyond track 8.
According to Sisqó, the alleged theft of his song title by Apple Inc. is "straight up scandalous," and he added that he wasn't entirely sure if he could "handle this." Furthermore, he claimed to be offended by Apple's "acting like they the ish," and by the "look in Steven Jobs's eyes, so devilish."
Brown Noser staff translators are still trying to discern exactly what that means, but Sisqó's lawyer commented that the intellectual property allegedly owned by Cisco Systems would "certainly be relinquished to its rightful owner, Mr. Andrews, before the trial reaches its conclusion."
Cisco Systems released a statement in response to Sisqó's allegations, stating, "Though we respect and admire Mark Alvathan Andrews's music, especially 'The Thong Song,' which is awesome and just a fantastic, catchy song, he should play no role in this matter. This issue surrounding the iPhone is between Cisco and Apple only. Let me say that again, Cisco and Apple only."
Apple replied in a slightly more aggresive manner. "Mark Andrews is a fool seeking out money after a weak, one-hit wonder career. There is no legal proof, only Andrews's word, that the phrase iPhone was used as a title on his album. In response to the nonsense being created by the involved parties, Unleash the Dragon has been removed from iTunes and all of Apple's subsidiaries."
After releasing the statement, Apple discovered that Unleash the Dragon had already been removed from iTunes due to no active downloads.
Concerned with misleading the public about his general opinion of the iPhone, Sisqó stressed the fact that he, in fact, planned to buy one once it came out, citing its dumps like a truck, truck, truck and thighs like what, what, what as reasons to buy the product. However, when asked if he was actually talking about the iPhone, Sisqó's only response was, "baby move your butt, butt, butt. I think I'll say it again."
