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The Brown Noser

Small-Nosed Professor Receives Poor Marks From Hypercritical Review

Published Friday, December 4th, 2009

All across campus professors are up in arms over the release of a new student publication, the Hypercritical Review, which reports on the minutiae of instructors' teaching habits in order to better inform students' decisions come registration.

The Noser talked to Hypercritical Review founder and president, Jeremy Wood '11, to find out exactly what prompted him to start this new publication.

"Well, that's kind of a silly question, and poorly worded. I would also like to add that you should never button your top button," Wood told this reporter.

Wood went on to explain that he decided to start the Hypercritical Review because of the various shortcomings he felt were evident in the Critical Review. "It's like they don't want you to know that your professor doesn't always say 'gesundheit' until its too late."

Wood added, "Another thing. It's unclear whether the word 'Critical' refers to the criticism offered, or to the publication's importance. I mean, which is it?"

While Wood says students have a right to know, many professors claim that the size of their noses or whether or not they whistle their s's has no bearing on their competence as educators.

Professor of History Eric Bolton expressed his utter disbelief about the extent to which the Hypercritical Review has impacted him directly.

"I get enough scrutiny from my wife. I don't need my students also pointing out that one of my ears is bigger than the other." Bolton went on, "I'm up for tenure and now my career is in jeopardy because I whistle my s's when I get excited? S[whistling noise]eriously?"

Despite professors' concerns and despite the criticism of students who found the Hypercritical Review's in-class surveys "confusing" or "irrelevant," Wood maintains his publication's importance. "The professors are just being hypersensitive."

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