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"Ding!" shouted Elias Thompson '11, just as the clock struck midnight on February 23rd. After much anticipation, Thompson had finally reached 21, an achievement that allowed him to unlock some of life's most exclusive content, such as Las Vegas [Fun Mode], Liquor Stores [Anxiety-Free Mode] and Slowly Beginning To Feel The Crushing Weight Of His Own Mortality [Rest-of-Life Mode]. But of all these new areas to explore, Thompson remains most excited about the Graduate Center Bar.
"I'm a pretty adventurous type," said Thompson. "If something is open to explore, I will explore it. If the door is locked, I'll try the windows, the back entrance, whatever. I'll even check the pots and drawers inside for any useful items."
Of course, Thompson's habits of aggressive breaking and entering, along with burglary, have occasionally drawn the ire of the Providence police. "One time, I was being chased by this police officer all across campus, but I managed to lose him at Jo's," Thompson recounted. "Luckily, once the policeman couldn't see me he totally lost interest in the fact that I had stolen over $10,000 worth of goods from student dorms. By the next day everyone had forgotten about it."
Despite Thompson's uncanny ability to access places, he was never allowed into the GCB. "Man, I remember, when I was about 19 or so, walking around Grad Center, passing by the gateway into the Grad Center Bar, just wishing I could go in" said Thompson. "I kept trying to talk to the bouncer who was in the way of the entrance, but all he ever said was '…'. I mean seriously, how was I supposed to know that I had to wait until I was 21, and then double back, just from that? I swear, life is impossible without a strategy guide".
However, the wait, according to Thompson, was worth it. The GCB offers an array of fun mini-games, such as Scattergories, Pool and Darts, along with the main objective of the level: awkwardly hitting on that cute girl from your English class. "I'm totally pro at all the mini games, but the main challenge is really hard", Thompson noted. "I think I'm getting closer to beating it. The trick is getting just drunk enough that you don't totally black out, but there's not a lot of leeway. It's all in the timing."
In order to keep up the habit of nightly GCB ragers, Thompson has had to obtain a part time job. "It totally sucks," says Thompson. "I do the same thing over and over for hours, just for some money and a little life experience. Seriously, it's almost as boring as World of Warcraft."
