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Across the Brown campus, friends and acquaintances of Robert Sweeney '11 are growing concerned over his dwindling drug habit. "Robert used to be a total party animal," lamented Sweeney's fraternity brother Terry Palmer '12. "I mean sure, he got sober occasionally. Pretty much everyone in the frat does. But now it seems like he spends more time with his shit together than he does completely out of his mind. It's becoming an issue."
This year Sweeney climbed even further up the rabbit hole by giving up marijuana. "Yeah, my dealer graduated last year, and I haven't really been able to find another, so I just stopped," Sweeney said. He then hastily added, "It's not too big a deal though. I mean, I can start again whenever I want. I just don't feel like it."
However, Sweeney's friends do not share his nonchalant attitude toward his habit. "I'm worried about the guy," said Sweeney's roommate, Jose Moore '11. "When he stopped snorting cocaine, I accepted that. When he stopped huffing Drano, it was tough for me to understand, but I respected his decision. But when he gave up weed, I knew he was in trouble. Every day I see him, it is tough to know that he is slowly becoming less and less cool."
Sweeney, pushing the extremes of sobriety, has even given up alcohol. However, he takes measures to hide his new habit from his friends, fearing their judgment. "Usually I'll get a handle of Karkov, empty it out, and fill it up with water", he says. "Its so easy, I can take huge swigs of it in broad daylight and no one notices. People think I'm a total degenerate alcoholic." However, unbeknownst to the people around him, Sweeney actually wastes the day working on his classes and numerous extra curriculars.
Having gone almost six months without the warm, tender embrace of a beer-jacket, Sweeney has been repeatedly forced to find solace in the arms of his loving girlfriend Sharon Summers '11. "Sometimes, I feel like she's calling out to me, as if she needs me as much as I need her," said Sweeney. "I know it sounds bizarre, but I swear it's true. And sometimes I wonder, if I have her, do I really need anything else?"
When his friends realized that Sweeney had completely given up alcohol, they realized he had hit rock top. Knowing that no more alternatives existed, Sweeney's friends held an emotional intervention, hoping that this last attempt would provide him with the introspection needed to change what he had become. However, their impassioned cries of "Beer! Beer! BEER!!!" did little to sway him.
"He's far too sober to understand our logic," Moore lamented. "If he could get high, even for just a few hours, I'm sure he'd see the error of his ways."
