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The Brown Noser

Students Start Anti-Climate Protest

Published Thursday, March 8th, 2007

In the wake of emPOWER's successful campaign to make Brown a climate neutral campus, a group of outraged students convened this month to form the Brown Anti-Climate Coalition.

"emPOWER's neutral stance of climates is both ignorant and downright abhorrent," says BACC Chairperson Eric Summers '07. "The BACC stands firmly against all climates and their authoritarian reign over the state of our planet."

Although representatives from emPOWER have consistently defended the group on the grounds that it has always taken a strong stance on fighting climate change, BACC members maintain that fighting against climate change is simply the wrong approach.

Summers noted that fighting climate change, despite its merits, fails to address the issue that climates around the world "have already done enough." Forcing them to stop changing, says Summers, does not take into account the damage already inflicted by climates on natural ecosystems by simply existing.

"It's the type of mentality that allows convicted sex felons to run freely around elementary schools after serving minimal sentences in correctional facilities," says BACC Treasurer Robert Kim '09. "Call it neutrality, but to me emPOWER is straight-up apathetic."

Critics of the BACC have accused the group of being, at best, misguided and, at worst, clinically insane. Sophomore Andre Phillips of emPOWER had the following to say of his rival organization: "You can't just not have climates. That's like being anti-gender or anti-Sun."

Summers responded by attacking Phillips for his sympathetic attitude towards all climates, and added that he didn't think much of genders or the Sun either given the number of problems that humans have encountered with regards to sexism and sunburns throughout history.

When asked to elaborate on their grievances against climates, BACC members were kind enough to provide the group's charter. The 34-page document focuses somewhat on the environmental effects of climates around the world, but primarily argues against climates on a basis of convenience.

The preamble states the following: "Since the dawn of time, climates have forced animals and plants alike to evolve, adapt, seek shelter, and generally make a big fuss over their surroundings for the simple pleasure of avoiding discomfort. Furthermore, climates have never once attempted to justify their actions to any of the aforementioned victims. We, the members of the Brown Anti-Climate Coalition, stand firmly alongside our flora and fauna brethren against the harsh regime imposed upon us by our climate-dominated globe. We henceforth say NO to seeking shelter, opening umbrellas, buying air-conditioners, taking off our sweaters just to put them back on, and the general existence of 43? Fahrenheit."

The group then goes on to demand that the earth immediately cease having temperatures, generating or not generating precipitation, and "smugly forcing the citizens of the world to put up with its indecisive shit."

BACC meets on Sundays at 9 p.m. in Wilson 309.

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