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The Trojan condom brand today announced the U.S. launch of its new line of flavored condoms, complementing their current assortment of family planning implements.
A multinational leader in the $750 million prophylactic industry, Trojan has had success with its banana-, strawberry-, and chocolate-flavored condoms, but has faltered in recent efforts to expand into flavors such as sour-cream and onion, mint mojito, and wheatgrass.
"I was really inspired by a talk I saw Malcolm Gladwell give," said Jim Daniels, Trojan's vice president of marketing. "The talk focused on the story of a psychophysicist - a flaverologist if you will - who singlehandedly reshaped the way the consumables industry thought about their products."
Gladwell's focal point was the shortsightedness of most firms in understanding the American consumer.
"He spoke about not having a 'perfect Pepsi', but only 'perfect Pepsis.' I realized then and there that we've been searching for a 'perfect Penis' when it's been right between our legs for years!"
Trojan is hoping to find new success by cashing in on a national trend towards 'natural' branding, despite the fact that their only product is made entirely of plastic and arrives covered in synthetic oils. According to internal documents the flavor is being marketed to 16-24 year olds, a group widely known for its love of fellatio.
Trojan's flavored condom program first began as a solution to what Daniels termed "the dental dam debacle." As the 1980's AIDS panic spread across America, youths everywhere worried that the American fascination with cunnilingus could be at stake. Trojan's response was quick but, in Daniels' own words, "misguided."
"We literally hired a bunch of migrant workers to cut squares of Saran Wrap and stamp them with the Trojan logo." Although there is not a single verified case of someone ever actually using a dental dam, Daniels still believes it is "a miracle that nobody suffocated."
Flavored condoms were first proposed by Daniels in the spring of 1987. At that point, Daniels was a Junior Analyst in Trojan's marketing department, and his pitch did not make it past low-level management.
"It was really quite discouraging," Daniels recalls. "I knew I was sitting on top of a gold mine, but the bureaucracy was keeping me down."
Then Daniels realized he had a secret weapon. His gullible uncle ran a lollipop factory, and Daniels convinced him to make a batch of 1,000 condom lollies. The flavor?
"All strawberry," Daniels said, grinning from ear to ear. The lollipops were distributed at the Trojan corporate headquarters, and their rousing approval landed Daniels an executive position. Daniels kept 20 of the lollipops and continues to display them in his office, though he hopes to replace them with their penile brethren soon.
Daniels said he is not concerned about a possible 'gross-out' factor, citing the insatiable teen desire to consume anything in a shiny package.
"C'mon, we partnered with Listerine and made a killing on 'mint-tingle' condoms," he retorted. "We could probably put ipecac on condoms and people would still buy them."
Here's one journalist hoping they someday do.
