Steven's articles
I've seen you, EMS'd kid. Sweatshirt and pajamas in the Ratty, take-out box full of eggs and tabasco, Sigg bottle full of Powerade. Swaggering around like you're the most exciting thing to happen to alcoholics since pocket-sized breathalizers.
Yeah, I've seen you, EMS'd kid.
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin recently launched her first national campaign since becoming what many consider the largest pothole in Arizona Sen. John McCain's road to the White House.
Palin's newest program, Bring Your Daughter's Daughter to Work Day (BYDDWD), promises to provide more of the same traditional family values which failed to drive enough Republicans to the polls in early November.
For weeks, Robert Vass '12 literally thought he was going crazy. He would wake up in the middle of the night, his bed shaking in a violent, staccato rhythm akin to a small earthquake. A native of Parkfield, California, a small town which lies almost directly above California's San Andreas transform fault, Vass assumed the jolts were from just such a quake.
The Trojan condom brand today announced the U.S. launch of its new line of flavored condoms, complementing their current assortment of family planning implements.
A multinational leader in the $750 million prophylactic industry, Trojan has had success with its banana-, strawberry-, and chocolate-flavored condoms, but has faltered in recent efforts to expand into flavors such as sour-cream and onion, mint mojito, and wheatgrass.
American military forces made their final withdrawals from Iraq today, ending 5 minutes of what began as an uncomfortable invasion and turned into an awkward, mismanaged occupation.
The retreat was entirely unexpected by experts of both nations, although White House staffers reported that President Bush assumed his 'O' face earlier today in a video conference with Iraqi president Jalal Talabani.
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