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The Verney-Woolley Dining Hall erupted into unbridled anarchy this week as a result of the eatery's decision to remove trays from the dining experience. Initially proposed to help the environment by reducing water use, the implementation caused the V-Dub to devolve into a post-apocalyptic war zone.
"I've got chicken fingers all over me!" cried Samantha Murphy '12. "What have we become?"
Similar cries to Ms. Murphy's could be heard amidst the human flesh sizzling on the waffle iron, tables being turned into pillories, and the crashes of breaking plates.
"We're thrilled about the new policy," said V-Dub director Lucas Mereil. "There have been a few hiccups thus far, but we think that once students get used to dining without trays things will get better."
Many students, however, remain pessimistic about the V-Dub's future. "Where am I supposed to put my barbecue and sweet and sour sauces?" said Sean Kotkin '11. "I can't put them on my plate, the bottoms are filthy and there is no room. My hands are filled with silverware and napkins and my one piece of hand fruit is in one back pocket while a magic bar is in the other. This is absolute madness."
Needless to say this commotion may not die down as fast as it began. However, although the trays are loved and surely missed, the important thing is we're saving our planet one theoretical baby step at a time. That's what really matters, right, the preservation of the earth and the human race?
